Sage Harrington

I made this album and the accompanying videos over the course of twelve—okay, more than twelve—days. All songs written, recorded, and performed by me.

The videos live here: www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVC21JCtl4KF0UaxOTDWnb30woNmDa1dM

1. Roaches, Spiders, and Weevils

I wrote this song about losing your lover but not being too sad about it because of all the great company you’ve begun to keep.

I also made a video for this which lives here: sageharrington.com/fun-day-beginning/

lyrics

Guess I should be lonely, guess I should be sad
‘Cause yours is the best love that I ever had
But there’s something I’m aware of, something that youre scared of
Something I’d once swear off, but now

I’ve these roaches, spiders, and weevils keeping me company
Naught but the roaches, spiders, and weevils keeping me here

I once had once to cuddle, one to squeeze and squoosh
Now I’m all a-muddle but I shall not lose
That something I’m aware of, something that you’re scared of
Something I’d once swear off, but now

I’ve these roaches, spiders, and weevils keeping me company
Naught but the roaches, weevils, and worms keeping me here

2. Dish Rags

I wrote this song about the zenlike pleasure of doing dishes. I did not write this song about hating the doing of dishes, which is something I experience.

I also made a video for this, which lives here: sageharrington.com/two-new-videos/

lyrics

The dishes are a time for reflection, reflection
Sparkling, shimmering, sudsy in copper pans
The dishes aren’t a time for perplexities, don’t be ill at ease
Just remember do it now, not later
Or else the cheese will get stuck in the grater
And you’ll have a hell of a time scrubbing away all the grime

Scrub the stovetop, sweep the floor
Spritz the mirror, do the chores
Polish silver, dust the shelves
Work like busy little elves do
Vacuum carpets, mop the tile
Empty trash and delete files
Empty cupboards, empty drawers
Empty boxes, fight clean wars

Dish rags, you dirty dish rags
The wringing rag’s wrung
You dirty rag

The dishes are a time for reflection, reflection
Sparkling, shimmering, sudsy in copper pans
The dishes aren’t a time for perplexities, don’t be ill at ease
Just remember, dry the blades of the blender
Or from sharp and shiny they’ll become dull and dim
And you won’t be able to make smoothies as smooth at your whim

Polish medals, dust awards
Refill the cupboards and the drawers
Fold the laundry, change the sheets
Breathe golden dust that golden, greets
Your nose in golden rays of light
Make dirt fight a good, clean fight
Make the coffee, sing a song
Sit on your sunny summer lawn
And once the twilight comes along
Watch fireflies flash until they’re gone
And once the evening comes along
Bake chocolate chip cookies until The X-Files is on

Dish rags, you dirty dish rags
The wringing rag’s wrung
You dirty rag

3. Irish Cheese

I wrote this song about awesomely fabulous Irish cheese.

I also made a video for it, which lives here: sageharrington.com/two-new-videos/

lyrics

I can’t believe the cost of groceries
All my money’s gone to Irish cheese

Dubliner and Kerrygold
These cheddars will forever hold
Their place in my refrigerator
Goodbye well-balanced meals, I’ll see you later

Whole Foods has left a gaping hole
In my wallet, sad’s my soul
Knowing cheese takes money, it takes dough
I should have gone to Trader Joe’s

I can’t believe the cost of groceries
All my money’s gone to Irish cheese

The colby and the pepperjack are nice
But fall a little flat compared to what I’m looking at
Muenster and harvarti are great, but not as hearty
I need the Irish for this party

I can’t believe the cost of groceries
All my money’s gone to Irish cheese

4. You Snore

I wrote this song about the joys and annoyances of snoring. Mostly annoyances.

I also made a video for this, which lives here: sageharrington.com/snore-sorry-accusing-really-just-title-song-wrote/
lyrics
You snore and it’s adorable
You snore and it’s annoying
You snore and it’s adorable
You snore and it’s annoying
You snore and it’s adorable
You snore and it’s annoying me

I wanna go to sleep
But the light of your projector alarm clock is
Bouncing off of your ceiling
And into my eyes and it’s
1:31, 3:32, 6:00 a.m. and I’m tired
I’m tired

And you’re snoring and it’s adorable
You’re snoring and it’s annoying
You snore and it’s adorable
You snore and it’s annoying
You snore and it’s adorable
You snore and it’s annoying me

You snore, I’m bored, you smoke, you choke
In the mornings, you cough, it’s clear that you’re a little off
You snore, I’m bored, you smoke, you choke
In the mornings, you cough, it’s clear that you’re a little off
You snore, I’m bored, you smoke, you choke
In the mornings, you cough, it’s clear that you’re a little off

You snore and it’s adorable
You snore and it’s annoying
You snore and it’s adorable
You snore and it’s annoying
You snore and it’s adorable
You snore and it’s annoying me

5. Altitude Airs

This is a song I wrote about the joys of air travel, inspired partially by the ever-exciting Denver airport.

The video lives here: sageharrington.com/altitude-airs/

lyrics

Look at all the traveling people in their traveling clothes
Hanging on to their traveling things they individually, carefully chose
Look at all the traveling people with their traveling things
Dragging their traveling luggage along to load down those airborne wings
Look at all the traveling people standing in traveling lines
Sitting in traveling terminals sipping vodka and olive brine

Traveling travelers traveling from place to place
And just in case they’re carrying bottled mace in layers of lace just in case
Traveling travelers traveling from place to place
Running at a terrible pace, racing the plane schedule’s race
Bracing for the taste of wasted haste

Look at all the traveling people in their traveling chairs
Opening packets of traveling gum and putting on altitude airs
Look at all the traveling people staring out of the windows of traveling planes
Admiring the traveling scenery and playing their traveling games
Look at all the traveling people seeing the traveling sights
Licking their traveling ice creams and wearing their traveling tights

Traveling travelers traveling from place to place
To paint on a happier face
To pick up a new priceless vase
To taste exotic fruits’ exotic taste
To buy fancy foreign curtains made out of lace

Look at all the traveling people in their traveling clothes
Hanging on to their traveling things they individually, carefully chose

6. Charismatic Megafauna

I wrote this song about strange creatures, ordinary creatures, ecology, conservation, and recycling.

I also made a video for it which lives here: sageharrington.com/charismatic-megafauna/

lyrics

Charismatic megafauna bounding through the bamboo forest
Munching, crunching, then a yawn-a, ’cause panda’s got to sleep
They bound through the bamboo forest, they lumber through the bamboo forest
They keep pruned the bamboo forest with their well-toned jaws

These are creatures that you think of
When you think of conservation
When you repair leaky faucets
You are helping THE MARMOSET

Charismatic megafauna hanging upside down from branches
Moves slowly through its jungle fauna with its prehensile tail
Here is a pygmy slow loris, it’s joined a nocturnal chorus
It wakes at night within the forest and then does its thing

These are creatures that you think of
When you think of conservation
When you install solar panels
You are helping THE VULTURE

Flagship species – let’s expand the term
We should care for the lowliest of earthworms

Charismatic megafauna oozing slowly ‘cross the seafloor
To see this thing you’ve gotta don a wetsuit or go to the zoo
Here we have a sea cucumber, they can be many colors, sea cucumbers
It’s kind of gross, this sea cucumber, it’s life seems kind of pointless

These are creatures that you think of
When you think of conservation
When you pay for spirally lightbulbs
You are helping THE ANGLERFISH

Charismatic megafauna coursing through the deepest currents
Only seen it at the ComicCon-a when it was drawn by nerds
Here we have a giant squid, when you saw it, flipped your lid
Finally filmed one, yes they did, so let’s go get squid tats

These are creatures that you think of
When you think of conservation
When you give those tax-deductible donations
You are helping THE MANTIS SHRIMP

Flagship species – let’s expand the term
We should care for the evilest of dirty germs

Charismatic megafauna bounding o’er a grassy lawn-a
Tiny doggie make you wanna steal him from the park
Here we have a good chihuahua, yes there can be good chihuahuas
Come and see a good chihuahua leap over tufts of grass

These are creatures that you think of
When you think of conservation
When you sort out your recycling
You are helping

7. Kitten’s Tiny Hiss

I wrote this song about listening, talking, kittens, mohawks, and gender roles.

I also made a video for it which lives here: sageharrington.com/funadays-songs-dogs-kittens/

lyrics

You got flower power in your finest hour
But this ain’t your finest yet
Instead of growing bean sprouts or farming up some lean trout
You left your garden good as dead

Listen, no you listen, listen
You hear, no, you hear, you hear, no
Take heed, now, get a load of this
Talking, we t-talking, talking
Saying, you s-saying stuff that’s
Drowned out by kitten’s tiny hiss

Look at what she bring you, it’s something to swing to
But you’re lying on the couch
Wish all your bows and arrows would shoot down all the sparrows
Wish she’d kiss you on the mou-ch

Listen, no you listen, listen
You hear, no, you hear, you hear, no
Take heed, now get a load of this
Talking, we t-talking, talking
Saying, you s-saying stuff that’s
Drowned out by kitten’s tiny hiss

Gave your dog a mohawk, some are talking bro-talk
Others think that she’s a girl
And when you put your cat out, you leave the welcome mat out
But she’d rather give your heart a whirl

8. George Michael’s Song

I have this dog. His name is George Michael. He’s pretty great. I can get pretty gross with this pet-owner-on-pet-love thing that’s happened to me, but he can also do really shitty things, like eating shit. This song is about that paradox of love and blinding rage one feels when one has realized their tiny snuggle buddy has brought cat shit into the bed.

I also made a video for this song, which lives here: sageharrington.com/funadays-songs-dogs-kittens/

lyrics

You have naked armpits, little pinkened armpits
And a balding belly, with strange and sparse white down
You have broken whiskers, little wizened whiskers
Little tufts of eyebrow and a peanut butter coat

Go ahead and be coprophagus
Shove shit down your esophagus
Poke your nose into the cat box
And much it on the couch
You may be cute, but your coprophagy
Might just get the best of me
You’d best to go ahead and get your pink befouled tongue off of me

You are not a dog, not the tiniest of dogs
But the smallest version of a faun man’s ever seen
You’re a little dearie, a tiny cervine dearie
You stare too long at headlights and quiver, shiver, shake

You wanna be coprophagus?
Shove shit down your esophagus
Snuggle all up in the bedsheets
Munch cat crap where we sleep
You’re not cute enough for your coprophagy
Not to get the best of me
What can I do, but take it out on you
By painting you with pink hair dye?

Follow after chickens, chase the squawking chickens
Dart after the chickens, but when we walk, just stop
Dig your little heels in, dig your little claws in
Curve your little body and quiver, shiver, shake

9. Quiet Market

This is a song about getting some peace and quiet at any price, informed by all those service jobs I’d really rather never think about again.

I also made a video for it, which lives here: sageharrington.com/quiet-market-fun-day-video-5/

lyrics

Here at the Quiet Market we can fulfill all of your quiet needs
Here at the Quiet Market I can show you around, it’s a big place, indeed
Come in to the Quiet Market, I can show you what there is to see
Here at the Quiet Market we feature the best in quiet brands and breeds
And, of course, with the most competitive pricing structure

Here we have the kind of quiet after rainfall in the desert
That turns sad, pale dust into sludge
The crickets are still singing all happy and damp
And the raindrops still ring in your ears

Here we have the kind of quiet when you’ve put a kid in time-out
And she finally gets tired of yelling

Here’s a sun-dappled cup of tea, springtime kind of morning
Steven Kind under the maple tree

Or you’ve been fighting hour after hour with your mother or your lover
And you can’t think of anything to say, so you don’t

And here, on consignment, a humid summer’s evening
Hammock stretched between ancient pear trees
Mosquitos are buzzing, fireflies, too
And the kittens, they rustle and mew

10. Vegetarian

This is a song about really wanting to be a vegetarian.

I also made a video for this, which lives here: sageharrington.com/vegetarian/

lyrics

You wanna be a vegetarian
Drink decoctions of valerian
You wanna swim in an aquarium
With all the fancy colored fish, fish

I wanna be a vegetarian
Distance myself from the Sumerians
Call their methods antiquarian
Yes, you see that is my wish, wish

Oh
C-c-c-clap, clap, clap

G-go ahead and start granola munching
T-tasty stuff, can’t you hear the crunching
Y-y-y-yum, now what delicious brunching
Mmhm, I said that it’s delish-lish

Oh
C-c-c-clap, clap, clap

11. Mint Mint Mint Mint Mint

This is a song about the mint that grows in Ohio herb gardens. Also, Mousetrap!

I also made a video for this song, which lives here: sageharrington.com/fruits-recording-labors/
lyrics
Hardwood floors, mousetrap game, white fluffy dog and daffodil
Asparagus and flabby cactus, green lawn, green lawn, cornfield
Card games on a maroon carpet, staircase, cats and cats
Barn with birdshit and with coonshit, pear tree, pear tree, muddy well

Apple, maple, sour cherry, echinacea, elderberry
Mint, mint, mint, mint mint

Black-eyed susan, fluffy bunny, peony, hammock, dandelion
Tomato, zuccinni, summer squash, kitten, kitten, kitty-cat
Bonfire roasting marshmallows, bruschetta, ice cream, pillows
Cake, blue icing, moving van, queen anne’s lace, and mint

Apple, maple, sour cherry, echinacea, elderberry
Mint, mint, mint, mint mint

Chives chopped up in scrambled eggs, sweet william, marigold, raspberry
Oregano and purple pansies, basil, basil, rosemary

Apple, maple, sour cherry, echinacea, elderberry
Mint, mint, mint, mint mint

12. Porch Swing

This is a song about porch swings.

I also made a video for it, which lives here: sageharrington.com/fruits-recording-labors/

lyrics

Let us swing a little while on this porch swing, on this porch swing
Let us swing a little, sing a little tune

credits

released July 4, 2014