in which I invite you to my birthday party and vow renewal

Hi there 😉

If you’ve been with me for any length of time and love what I do, I’m so grateful to you.

I’ve thrown so much of myself into my art and music and career the past twelve years.

All of myself? All of it. Never more of myself has gone into my art, than the amount of myself I have put into it this year.

Not to like, be too dramatic about it or anything 😉

2012: the year I released my first album!

(Yes, for the cover art of that album I painted a watercolor imitation Botticelli with my own right hand and yes, my Venus does somehow have my face and boobs! Yes, this absolutely does make me cringe!)

2012: the year I quit my last day job!

(Yes, it was food service, and yes it was the most stressful and emotionally abusive job I ever had the displeaure of doing!)

In the past 4 months I’ve done something I had been basically incapable of doing until that point: putting some structure around my songwriting practice.

This is exactly what it sounds like: making the time for it to happen. Putting it into my calendar. Saying that I’m going to do it, then showing up with my songwriting notebook and pen and ukulele and voice memo app and fucking around until something cool happens.

I have been so amazed — as someone who loves above all else the freedom to work as I feel inspired to (see above on the emphatic quitting of day jobs) to feel supported by this way of working, rather than trapped by it.

This is the conundrum of the creative freelancer, no? I want my work to feel authentic. But given the freedom (or, that freedom having been taken) … what am I supposed to do?

(Also, please don’t ever tell me what to do.)

(Is your brain anything like my brain?! Are you reading this, relieved you don’t live inside my brain? Do you envy what it’s like inside my brain? Do we have exactly the same brain?)

In 2011, I sat on the brass bed my grandmother gave me to use in my apartment at the time (I didn’t even sleep on it, I used it as a sort of couch in my living room at the time because I didn’t have other furniture) and I wrote a song called Soap Floats, because I thought it was funny that it rhymed with “Hope Floats,” that Sandra Bullock movie.

So I’m getting older. I write songs differently now. I’m not having hot impromptu flings with my muse like I did in my early twenties. We’re making intentional time for each other, now.

There were a lot of years in the middle there where I was caught up with other things, and I wondered, hey, why aren’t we hanging out?! My muse and I?

My music and I.

I missed her so much, and I didn’t even realize the pain of separation until we got back together, tentatively, carefully.

I guess many long-term relationships have a similar arc.

You lose sight of each other, you don’t even recognize the pain of missing each other, then you come back together, and there’s a relief, a knowing, as though slipping into a familiar warm bath, a yes.

We do belong together.

So to celebrate 12 years of freedom and love and joy (and pain and confusion, yes, and wandering around and wondering how to be a functional human growing up millenial in late-stage capitalism), I wanted to throw a little party.

It’s a public apology to my muse, an aftermath to the private oh-baby-I’m-so-sorry-will-you-please-please-please-take-me-back-I-promise-I-wanna-be-with-you-forever, a messy, heartfelt, teary-eyed public declaration of adoration, a renewal of vows.

That, and my birthday party.

I’m gonna be 36 soon.

Will you please celebrate with me and my muse?

Here’s the birthday party we’ve planned:

    1.    You throw money at me, choosing your amount, donating  generously as you wish.
    ⁃    using Paypal, add the memo “BDAY PARTY”
    ⁃    € – give me euros (paypal me at this email address (click me click me) “family and friends” please)
    ⁃    $ – give me USD (paypal me at this email address (click me click me) “family and friends” please)
    2.    On August 18, I’ll share with you the brand-new recording for my brand-new song that’s so fresh, basically no one has heard it yet.

I love this new music so much. I’m so excited to share it with the world … eventually. But first, I wanted to have a little private party with those who are closest to me.

I don’t currently have plans to release this music. In all honesty, I haven’t even made a proper recording of it yet! That will come so soon. And if you want to be among the first to savor it, I’m so glad.

Thanks for celebrating with me and my muse.

It’s so good to be back on speaking terms again.

Love love love you,

xo

-s

p.s. If some other way of sending money works better for you, and you want in on the party festivities, email me back here and I’ll make sure that you get access to the song in a way that works best for you.

p.p.s August 18 is not my birthday but it’s so close 😉

p.p.p.s. I recently sent out a missive to my (other) email list (maybe you’re on both? one is for ukuleleswingschool.com, this one is for my music performance self), which was such a sweet and amazing experience to see: I asked for people to respond, and I got so many cute and amazing emails back, I loved loved loved it. If you haven’t heard back from me yet, I’ll respond as soon as I can <3

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*this post was originally an email sent to my subscribers. If you want future missives sent directly to you, sign up here: